I have a pill box that holds my morning pills and on the other side my night time pills.  Every Sunday I refill them once again with more pills.  I had to stop and think the other day when I was doing it.  I felt like I had just filled them all up and once again they were all gone!!  How can that BE!!??  Time is just flying by faster than I can see it go!!  I am always missing days.  Like wondering where did Monday go and suddenly it is Friday!! Anyone having that problem now a days?

Kids keep having birthdays.  Like someone said this happens to us all once a year!!  Just seems like they are all growing up way too fast for me. 

Blessings are all around me though.  I went to the doctor this morning and had to talk about myself.  Not one of those things that come easy for me.  I had to tell him about my moods, my life, my family and almost everything.  I told him that I was a real happy person and loved people and my family.  He even asked about if I went to church and so I told him about that too.  Even doctors know that church is good for us.  I came away from there thinking to myself that I am a very fortunate, lucky and happy woman.  I have a husband that was given to me by God.  My family is the greatest!!  All the grands are growing up to be great people.  The older ones good adults.  What more can a mother ask for than to see her children and grands all growing up to be good people in this world.  Sure there are things that I wish for some of them that have not happened yet but I know in time it will if I just keep praying and have faith that it will all work out!!

I hope to stay on this earth long enough to see my 3 youngest grands grow up to be also good people in this world.  Sometimes I think about how this world has changed in my 66 years and how it is GOING to change in the future!!  Our grands are going to see things, do things and hear things that we would never ever had imaged!!  The electronics is something that I would love to live long enough to see what is the NEXT thing!!  That has always interested me.  Who knows how long we are all going to live here on this earth.  But even if it does not happen for me, I know that I am going to a much better place and be with my Lord!!

The weather is even changing!!  Illinois has always had the old saying...stay awhile and the weather will change all together!!  Yeap here in Illinois in the Land of Lincoln the ground is flat and the winds blows or should I say howls around us most of the time.  Today trying to get gas I thought I was going to blow away before I got the gas in the car.  It was awful!!

Enough of my blabbing this afternoon.  Bible study is calling.  The washing is going.  Annie is taking a nap.  Mike is at work.  Our apt is nice and cozy!!  Hope you are too!!

My goofy husband!!

Hello all of my old blogging friends...It is I once again!!  I really do miss blogging!!  I am trying to get back to reading all of your blogs!!

MY HUSBAND:

As you all know I love and cheish my husband beyond anything. I was praying the other night and thought that everything that some of the attributes that God has I find in my husband.  My husband is kind, caring, takes one day at a time, humble, God fearing, honest, loving, faithful, and my best friend.  When you think about our Savior some of these same attributes come up too.  Course God is God and my hubby is a human being that is full of errors because he is a sinner. 

God is kind, humble, loving, faithful and my best friend...but He is also God.  Ever present; all knowing, Prince of Peace, Savior (MY Savior); Saved me by his grace.

When He first made man we all knew that he did not want man to be alone so he created woman!!  God did not want man to live his whole life with only the animals.  He wanted him to be loved and taken care of.  Seems to me that marriage is so like God.  He made it as He did everything that is good in our lives.  Too bad that Adam and Eve had to go and mess it all up!!  We live with their mistakes every day!!

GETTING OLD AND PAIN:

Lately it seems that I have been praying a lot for people in pain, cancer, alzheimers and many bad problems.  Again, as I was praying I thought, "Just think Jesus died on the cross for our sins and HIS pain was so much greater than ours."  It brought my pain into a better understanding.  I still pray for everyone because I know that God hears.  My pain has been horrible but then again it is not as bad as our Lord experienced on Calvary!!  When I pray I know that He hears me because he knows real pain too!! 

GROWING UP:

Everyone here is doing just that.  In a way my mother has had to learn a completely new life since May when we lost my dad to cancer.  She is trying to learn to live alone but trying even harder to keep busy.  She is still volunteering in Tuscola entering information into a computer.  She works for the Tuscola Museum now entering data that people hav sent in about going to country schools!!  She is learning how to live a completely different life now.

Madison our new teenager

Our youngest granddaughter, Maddie just turned 13!!  A teenager now!!  I could tell she was getting close because she kept having these rollin' eyes and flipping her hair...Funny to watch this little (used to be a baby the other day) grow up into a young lady. 

Katie and her puppy!

All of the grands are doing that.  The three older girls all have graduated from high school and now are working!!  Brie had to stop for a while from attending nurses training.  We hope soon that she will be returning. She has been working at one of our hospitals here in town.  She is a CNA there.  At least she is getting some training while she waits to return and finish up her goal!!

Katie is 18 and working right now in a nursing home.  She loves it but she is going to try to get into a Jr. college here to study Physical Therapy!!  That is quite a goal because it takes something like 8 years to finish.

Emily is almost 20 now and she is finishing up being a cosmotologist.  She just loves cutting hair.  She said that when she first had scissors in her hand she was very happy and knew what she was to do.  She also has a job to help get all of this paid for.

Our two youngest grandsons are just trying to make it through school right now.  Garrett is 10 and Rick is 11 going on 12 now!!  They are just boys and you know boys!!  Always a bag of fun with them both!!


Quote for today:  "

"You are the only you we will ever have. God didn't create a plan B for your life. We need you to be who you are, to do what only you can do. And to do it now, today, in whatever way you can."

It is Me again!!

Looks like I have been gone so long that the whole BLOGGER setup has changed!!  Guess that is what you get for being behind like me!!  I am so behind in a lot of things lately.  I think my days have been spent so much differently than they used to be spent!!  I think often at night that I need to blog!!  I can even come up with something to write about and then by morning...well that thought is all gone.

So here I am again trying to get in the habit of blogging!!  I know it is a great habit to be in and I am going to try ONE MORE TIME!!

Time has been flying by here quickly since my dad passed away in May!! I don't know why exactly but it has been just speeding up!! 

FAMILY:

Mother is doing really well.  She is keeping busy by volunteering at the museum where she has been for 20 plus years!!  Boy if only she had been paid!!  But that is not the idea there.  She enjoys her work and it keeps her mind filled with things plus it gives her a goal.  We all need that.

We are fitting again into the Illinois life but still miss Savannah!!  I miss my friends and especially my church.  We are in a good church here but need to get more involved.  I am in BSF again and enjoying it as always.  My health has been pretty good.  Both my brother and I went to have tests to make sure that we do not get what our dad had.  I find out about mine this week.  My brother passed his okay.  We both wanted to be pro-active.

We enjoy our little apartment.  I have learned how to use things that I never knew I would be using.  With no stove it has been fun learning how to cook.  I never liked cooking anyway so here I am learning all over again.  I have learned to use my microwave, George Foreman grill, slow cooker and toaster oven more and more.  I can do it but just never liked it!!

I have been sewing and doing some quilting again.  It has been fun.  Our oldest granddaughter has learned to sew.  It was like she did not have to be taught.  She just sat down and sewed.  She seems to love it.  Nice to know that some others are learning to sew in our family.  Some of these crafts are just going to go away if the younger people do not learn them.  It would be a shame!!  I have always loved doing hand crafts and I hope my granddaughters learn.

Mike is doing great!! He really likes his job.  His selling is just wonderful.  He and another PSE (their title at Lowe's) have been given a mobile office now which includes a laptop, printer and an air card.  He can now go to the customers house with everything thing he needs in order to give them what they are looking for.  Great idea.  He wants to retire but he also knows this is a great benefit for him.  We recently purchased a 2004 Jeep for him to be able to get around in.  It also will flat tow behind our motorhome IF and WHEN we ever get to vacation in it!!  

That seems to be about it.  Nothing exciting I know but just the every day stuff that happen to us.  We are both getting older. Mike just celebrated his 67th birthday!!  Now I am the youngest once again but only by 5 months!!  I always seem to catch up!!

The Middle aged goddess

MY DAD

One week ago today on May 22, 2011, my dad, Dale E. Smith went home to be with his Lord at 11:40 a.m.  We have lost a good and devoted husband, dad, brother and son!!  He is going to be missed by all of us who loved him.

The Friday before Sunday, I had the strangest feeling.  It was like someone was audibly talking to me yet they weren't.  I knew that I had to go to my parent's apartment as soon as I could get there.  I did not want my mother to be alone when Dad did pass away.

I got up on Saturday morning, packed and took off for Tuscola.  When I got there I was really surprised at the way my dad looked.  They had brought in a hospital bed just that week.  He looked at me but am not sure that he knew me.  I talked to him and held his hand.  Mother and I tried to keep the saliva that was forming in his mouth cleaned up.  I guess this is what happens when you cannot swallow or have not had a drink.  He was not eating or drinking by this time.  The saliva that we all have stays clear and thin but when you don't drink something then it becomes a thick white mess. I thought that it looked like white pudding.  Mother worked and worked trying to get it out of his mouth.  Sometimes he would let her help him but most of the time he just swallowed it back. 

He said that he thought he had done his pants.  We checked and found out that we needed something like adult diapers. I ran up to the store and brought some back.  Mother and I had a terrible time just trying to get them under him.  He was a very small man (around 130 lbs.) but very heavy.  WE struggled and struggled.  Finally I called a neighbor to help us lift him up.  We got it under him but could not get the tabs to work.  We ended up using some duct tape!!  It worked!!

We kept watching him.  Family was calling and I told them that they had better come NOW.  Mike, Becky, Julie, Maddie, Emily, Bill all came up Sunday morning.  We had just called the hospice nurse to tell her that we needed her to come.  She came and helped us give him some more moriphine.  We had not given him enough.  She upped it and told us to give more plus she had a medication that helped the saliva thin out!!  As soon as she left our family came.  We all went up to him and told him it was time for him to go now. 

Just a little bit before he passed, he held his right hand up in the air and then dropped it down. We think that he saw someone.  WE were talking and one of the kids said..Look!!  WE all turned around and we saw that Dad was leaving us. Becky had brought her stethoscope.  She ran over to him and listened and could not find a heart beat.  She said he is gone.  Mike said that he looked at the clock to make sure about the time...11:40 AM on the 22nd of May we lost our dad, grandpa, and husband!!  He went to be with God.  We knew that he was finally at rest. He could now walk and not be in any pain!  What a blessing to know that a few years back he had accepted Jesus as his Savior and had been baptized!!  We mourn our loss but we all know that he is in a better place now...

We called hospice and they called everyone that they had to call.  The funeral home came.  Mother and I went back into the bedroom while they took him to the funeral home.  Becky stayed with him while they were in Mother's apartment.  Julie and Bill took the younger granddaughters out just so they would not have to see all of this.  They had just seen their great grandfather pass away!!  It was so good that a large portion of his family were with him at the end.

Monday came and Mother and I had to go to the funeral home and make all of the arrangements.  We tried to pick out what we thought that Dad would like.  Then the next day our family arrived!!  So nice to see them all.  My brother, Ron and his wife and daughter came from Arizona.  Jon and his wife Maria also came.

The funeral was set for Thursday the 26th!! WE woke up to a very rainy and gray day.   Dad really looked good.  Many people came to pay their respects to Mother and our family.  Pastor Mike Rutledge did the service.  We had people tell of the fun times that they had with Dad.  It was a very nice service.  WE had thought we would not get to go to the graveside but it stopped raining just long enough for us to go.

WE had 2 military men there.  They stood at the head and the foot of the casket. After Dad's friend played taps, the soldiers carefully folded our American flag.  The one soldier handed it to the other and he bent down and presented it to Mother.  This whole ceremony was very sad!!  The rain stayed away until we had all filed out and drove back to the Tuscola Museum for our dinner.

The women at the Museum had cooked a very nice meal for everyone that wanted to attend.  Dad and Mother have volunteered there for 25 years.  They all felt like they owed something to my dad.

Now it is over a week since all of this happened.  I am so thankful that Dad had us all there when he passed from this life into a new one.

He was my hero!!  All little girls think that their dads are their heros!!  Mine was in the second world war.  He was wounded and received the purple heart!!  He never talked much about it till the later years of his life.  Mother recorded him speaking and then wrote it all down.  He was in a foxhole the day that he found out that I was born.  He told me that he stood up to tell everyone.  A buddy of his said that he had better get down or he would not see his new baby!!  My dad also named me.  He saw a little girl on a train.  Her name was Sandra Lee.  He wrote to Mother and told her if they had a little girl that he wanted her to be named Sandra Lee.  Mother was going to name me Billie Kay!!  Somewhere I have a woman to thank for my name. 

Taken in Savannah, Ga.



Monday again!!  A start of a new week!!  Our weather here has been just awful so anything new would be good for sure!! 

I am now on a cane...I can say that is better than a walker or a wheel chair.  I have not much enjoyed thse past 2 months but I do know that I have learned some life lessons.  I think that is one of the reasons that things like this happen to us.  I don't believe that God made me fall I do not believe that I just mean that we go through this types of happenings in our lives only to come out on the other side a changed but wiser person. At least that is what I hope I will see.  I already do see some things and I am sure more is going to be coming my way.  Another thing is that we need to be looking for these things.  Looking helps us to see what God wants us to see and remember.  I think sometimes that this is the reason some people cannot see God working!!  Open our eyes that we may see!! 

I am still having a time with living here in Illinois.  I love Illinois after all this is where I was born and lived for years.  Mike and I were talking the other day at lunch and I was reminded what Paul said in the bible. 

Philippians 4:11-13 (King James Version)

¹¹Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever STATE I am, therewith to be content.
¹²I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
¹³I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I first learned this verse in the King James Version...It says here in whatsover state I am..to be content.  I told Mike that I was content in the STATE of Georgia..Now I am learning to be content in the STATE of Illinois!!  I know of course this is not what Paul meant EXACTLY!!  But it is what I want to see in these verses for now.  I am trying to be content.  I have not been able to get out much or make any friends and believe me that is the hardest part of moving...Making new friends and getting involved in things that will keep me busy.

Also that verse tells us that I can do all things through Christ because he is strengthening me...Again, we have to learn this lesson.  As I age though I am beginning to understand these principles more and more.  Take one day at a time just like my husband has always told me to do and I will be happy!!  EASY!!

My dad is starting to get worse day by day. He is very weak and cannot stand on his legs anymore.  Mother is trying her best to take care of him.  I think that they will be getting a hospital bed this week from Hospice.  Mike and i went to see them Saturday.  Dad told me right away that he was not worth anything...I so hate this for my paretns.  Both of them are trying to keep things together but it is getting so hard especially for Mother.  She is going through depression which I can easily understand.  I just wish that there was more that I could do for her. Dad wants to pass away at home so that is what Mother will do.  She wants to let him do whatever he wants.  What a time this is!! 

Mike is back to work today full time!!  This is his 3rd week back at work.  The first two weeks were part time!  He has jumped right back into the selling part and bringing in money for Lowe's...which they are grateful for.  He is walking pretty well but still having pain/ache.  Time is going to be what he needs yet.

That is about it from us here!!  As always I have been rambling but that is what I do anymore.  Ramble from here to there.  Waiting for Home care to come now and hoping to be released!!  I need to get back to driving...soon...please!!

Thougth for the day:  The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, Well, she looks good doesn't she.'  SMILE!!

Only a few more weeks and hopefully I will be back to walking!!  I have NEVER missed something so bad in my whole life.  I have always been someone that walks fast and drives fast.  Everyone is telling me that I have to learn to SLOW down.  When you have been used to doing things quickly now they tell you to slow down.  HM!!

Through this whole experience I have went from surprise to a very low depression.  I have an awful problem of claustropbia.  It just seems to be getting worse as I age.  I have been very confined lately since I fell and broke my ankle.  I cannot walk and that really does confine you. 

It finally got so bad that I had to have some medication to make it through each day.  The cast can be very tight and along with not being able to walk that equals into a depression for me.  My cast is now off and I am in a BIG black boot (very fashionable).  It is 100% better than a cast for sure!!

Through all of this I have tried to look for the blessings.  Along with that though I have noticed how I feel.  Being in a wheelchair just seems to open up your eyes to all that is around you.  Trying to get into a door at a store or a bathroom, sitting and having to look up at everyone as they stand around you talking (feel like a little kid again).  Trying to go into church and realizing that the aisle in front goes straight down and my brakes do not work like that.  Trying to get into a bathroom and the door will not completely open or at least will not let me in right away.  The handicap bathrooms are wonderful.  In a car, the handicap placard is wonderful.  One thing though that I have noticed is that there are lowered levels on the sidewalks that are extremely important.  With this handicap I will never look at people in wheelchairs and on crutches the same again!!


I have learned several lessons.  Be kind to everyone that need help getting in a door...etc.  I have always done that but it makes me look even more at these people and want to help them more.  I have learned that Patience is quite a goal.  I have had to endure this painful word every day now for 5 weeks and counting!!  I have learned family is wonderful.  What I would have done without my family...well I just cannot imagine that.  I have had great care from everyone.  My hubby is my hero!!  Always has been and through all of this he has taken the best care of me.  He cooks, washes dishes and clothes.  I cannot thank him enough. Our oldest granddaughter, Brie, stepped in right as I got home from the hospital.  She was just a dear helping me do things like a shower.  Poor girl!!  I felt sorry for her to have to see more of her grandmother than she should EVER have to see.  She is studying to be a nurse someday!!  She is going to be a gem at it!!

As I said, today is my 5th week on this long long journey!!  It sounds like I have about 1 more month before I will be standing up and walking.  I am really looking forward to this!!  WHEW!!  Just to walk again!!

Now next I am facing a rotator cuff operation!!  Will this "LUCK" of mine ever quit???  I am hoping to put it off for a little bit!!  I need to get back to walking and being me for a bit.  I have heard that it is not so bad...Guess I will see!!

That's the big news from me now.  Yeap I am rambling but that is what I do best!!

Thought for the day:  Handle your present with confidence.  Prepare for the future without fear.  Keep the faith and drop the fear. 

Handicapped in Illinois

Since my last post I have had 2 casts!!  The first one was purple and all autographed in silver pen...now I have a Daisy Yellow one (autographed again).  I wanted a bright cast to maybe make me feel more Springy.  I would like to tell you that it worked but I can only take so much of this sitting around and not being able to walk.

You know when life seems to be so normal and we maybe even think it is boring...we wonder!!  But let me tell you that once that s taken away from you...then normal seems like the best of all worlds.

This broken ankle (right) and sprang ankle (left) really are gettting to me after these past few weeks.  I am going on 4 weeks now.  I want to get up and walk.  My sprang ankle hurts a WHOLE lot more than my operated one in the cast.  I have found out that you can only read so many books...watch so many movies...sit only so long and then it all becomes derpessing.  I have heard it said that a spring can hurt more than a break...well it is true!!

I will admit that I have had a lot of problems accepting this handicap!!  I am not a one that loves to sit!!  I love to go and go and go!!  This has certainly dampened my activities  since I cannot walk.  I have a really great wheelchair...if there is a great wheelchair!!  I am learning how to get aound in it quite well.  BUT I still want to walk..run..that is not going to happen anytime soon.

I am in my 3rd week..almost 4th...but I think I have yet another 2-3 weeks to go.  Mike is doing great with his bi-lateral knee replacement!!  He is having a tough time right now but we were told that this is normal for this amount of time.  I just hope and pray that soon he gets all better.  Will make me feel better too!!

My brother is here now visiting with our parents.  Dad seems to be doing well...we all know that this is short-lived but we go now one day at a time and be thankful for this!!

Spring is trying hard to come here in Illinois!!  Spring was always my favorite season.  I miss the Savannah flowers and the warmer weather.  Cannot have both!!

Hopefully everyone is doing great in blog land.  I have been so lazy on blogging and on reading blogs.  I don't know why I cannot seem to do it anymore.  I love knowing that everyone that I have met over this past 6 years are doing great!! 

Thought for the day: 

 Life is short.....  forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile